Where I am now…
So now that I’ve been natural for a little while, and wearing it curly, I’m impressed at how confidence in the way I look repels people’s inclination to impose their beauty ideals on me. I still hear it, I still see it, but it’s not important.
Some things that help: knowing my hair and working with it, not against it. I have a cut that suits my face and enhances the way I look. I have the tools I need to make it easy.
I was starting to think that I had completed my journey, that I had discovered all I needed to discover about my hair. But of course, life doesn’t work out that way. We are beings that have infinite opportunities to learn new things. It’s a learning continuum. I’m rediscovering my hair and the many ways I love it so.
Where I was then…
I am a woman in the process of discovering my hair in its naturally curly state, for the third time. This time, I will embrace it with open arms. This time, I will try harder to love the image of me that fashion and television reject. This time, I will find the support and encouragement I need to make it work.
I do not believe my hair needs to be tamed. It is not unruly or difficult to manage. It was not meant to be straight and I am going to stop trying to make it do things it’s not suppose to. In its natural state, where I leave it is where it stays, even standing up. That’s well behaved hair – so what’s unruly about that?
Straightening my hair will not eliminate racism, which was originally what made black hair undesirable. It will not miraculously have people see me as an ‘ideal’ woman. It most definitely won’t change people’s minds about who they think I am based on my racial identity. If it were that easy, it would have fixed a lot of problems a long time ago.
We all have to pick our ‘female beauty standards’ battles. This is one I’m willing to take on.
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More About Me
I am not just about my hair, though. See!
Congrats on your decision! I’ve been natural for almost 2 years now. I fell in love with myself all over again. It truly is a liberating experience. I can’t wait to read more of your blogs. Thanks for sharing!
Thank god for blogs like this. I would feel completely lost without this sense of support!!
ditto for me…thank you!!! almoxt 2 years now …just trying to work with my hair….it does not want to be straight…grin…it is hard some days but i am learning to love my hair!
link to pics of my journey…i got lots of help from youtube
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=114839&l=b9d41&id=851495292
don’t give up!!!
Wow! I never thought of that. In my country people relax their hair because they like for it to look straight…we’re 90 percent black so definitely no prejudice there! I recently went natural because I feel more free to do so in the US because I see hair of different textures and think they’re so much more beautiful than straight hair.
I guess you see things differently here. Hair to me isn’t black or white (person), it’s straight, curly, kinky; etc (texture). ‘Hope that makes sense. I am from the Bahamas. My family is from Haiti and France.
If that’s your hair in the top picture I’m envious. I just cut off my twelve inches and am impatient to see my beauties!
timothysmom.wordpress.com
Gloria – Thanks for your comment. It is nice to see different textures. I and my family are from the West Indies as well, and although we have a majority black population, our history is rife with colonialism which sought to value whites above all others. So while it may seem that it’s a choice for them to straighten their hair, just a simple question about why they don’t leave it natural will reveal a lot of internalized hatred for their hair and its representation of class and beauty.
With that being said, I’m glad that you feel free, in this new environment, to express yourself as you see fit. Enjoy your new look!
love the blog. would love contact info
marie
marie@naturallycurly.com
Thanks for this website. I haven’t seen my natural hair since I was young. This is my 4 try with going natural and my longest time without a perm. I considered buying a texturizer tonight, but decided against it. I’m at that in between stage and can’t decide whether to let my perm grow out, get sisterlocks, or cut the perm off and go with a fro. Reading your website and learning that there are people who are willing to share their hair journeys gives me inspiration to continue on my hair journey. Now, I know where to go to get advice on products and styling.
Thanks
One more thing, how should I wash and condition my hair during the transition from relaxed to natural? I’m reading a lot of information that says I shouldn’t use heating products to straigten the new growth. I must admit I have been using my flat iron to make my hair more manageable. I’ve read a lot information that states that I should condition and comb my hair in the shower, but what happens after that? Should I rinse the conditioner out then let my hair air dry? Which products should I use during the transition? All of the sites I’ve read stated that I shouldn’t blow dry my hair either and I’m a little confusted on how to style my hair.
I’m gonna be taking out my weave soon… I’ve been thinking I should cut all the perm off. I’m really excited about it cause I’ve been perming my hair so much I don’t even know what my natural hair looks or feels like anymore! Anyway, I’ve been gathering knowledge from different places about what I can do with my hair when it’s natural. Until then, I guess I have to play the waiting game.
Say the pic and hairstyle on your site and wanted to know how u did ur hair to look like that.
I have natural hair and all i do is twists. I want to do some new styles
Hey I just found your blog. I have been wearing my hair natural for over five years now and I think I should finally try to attempt to do more than wear it natural. Some styles I haven’t thought of or have been too lazy to try.
Your blog is helpful. People are always asking me how I do my hair and I’m not the best at instructing them. Keep it up.
Great site, and thank you for your candor. I have been natural for some time now, though I’ve gone back to the “texturizer” crutch a time or two. I do have color, though – I’m not ready to be gray at this stage of my life! Sites like yours are the next best thing to an acutal sister circle for hair that meets on Saturdays.